I grew up wrestling, and it shaped who I am in more ways than one. Wrestling taught me how to face challenges head-on, push through discomfort, and channel my energy into something constructive. It’s not just about winning a match; it’s about learning discipline, resilience, and respect for both yourself and your opponent. Later, during my time in the military, I trained in martial arts (combatives). That experience took those lessons even further, teaching me the importance of precision, control, and situational awareness. Martial arts reinforced what wrestling had already taught me, strength without control is chaos, but strength with control is a force for good.
This is why I believe wrestling and martial arts are essential for raising boys. These disciplines do more than build physical strength, they teach boys how to harness their power and use it responsibly. Wrestling pushes them to dig deep, stay composed under pressure, and embrace challenges. Martial arts, meanwhile, instills discipline, focus, and the ability to remain calm even in tense situations. These activities create a foundation of confidence paired with humility, ensuring that boys grow up understanding that their strength is not for intimidation or dominance, but for protection and service.
Controlled masculinity also requires responsibility. Boys need to understand early on that their strength is not for selfish gain but to serve and protect. Whether it’s helping around the house, being a reliable teammate, or stepping up for a friend in need, responsibility teaches boys that their actions have consequences. Responsibility builds character, preparing them for moments in life when their courage and strength will be tested.
Finally, boys must learn to respect life. They need to understand the gravity of violence and its consequences. Controlled masculinity does not tolerate bullying or recklessness. Instead, it fosters honor, courage, and justice. A boy raised with these values becomes a man who can stand firm when needed but will always choose peace when possible.
Masculinity is not toxic… it is essential. Wrestling, martial arts, and the discipline they bring are not luxuries; they are necessities. The ability to protect, combined with the wisdom to restrain, defines a man. In a world that will inevitably test their strength and resolve, we must raise boys who are ready, with power in their hands, control in their hearts, and honor guiding their actions.
CPT Robert M. Cornicelli US Army NG (Ret)/Navy Veteran President, Veterans for America First
